Questioning It All

I have never been thin.  Ever.  I can’t tell you what it feels like or what it looks like.  I only know this.  I Questioningonly know fat.  This is home.

I want to run away from home.

I think a lot about what it would be like to be in a body that doesn’t look like mine.  One where I am comfortable in my own skin…comfortable when I move…just comfortable.  One where trying on clothes isn’t a national disaster or flying on an airplane an international incident.  What would that be like?

I have no interest in being underweight and I no longer have an interest in being overweight.  So what’s the in between?  Middle weight?  Happy weight?  Acceptable weight?  Acceptable for whom…for me or for you?

Women stare, secretly happy they aren’t me.  Men look away, secretly happy they aren’t with me.  I see it all.

I think about how I will look and if I will like what I see.  Will I become the woman I think I should be?  Will I suddenly love to shop for clothes and want to wear fancy jewelry?  Will I want to dress more provocatively and show off what I worked so hard for and spent so long covering up?

Will my relationships change?  Will my attitude change?  Will I change?

What kind of woman will be become?

The status quo is a safe haven for the scared.  I am petrified.

But it’s time to shake things up.  I need my questions answered.

Go Suck a Lemon!

SalternativeYeah, that’s right, I said it…go suck a lemon!  I mean it!  It just might do you some good!

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from Sister to Sister, which is an not-for-profit organization that promotes women’s heart health and education.  They have teamed up with Sunkist and are asking people, including me, to take the S’alternative Pledge.  For one week, use lemons instead of salt to flavour your food naturally.  I think this is a fantastic idea, so all this week I will be looking for ways to decrease my sodium and rev up the flavour of my food with lemons.

For every person who makes the pledge, Sunkist will donate $1 (up to $10,000) to Sister to Sister.  If you click on the picture above it will take to the S’alternative Pledge website where you can sign up.  I already did!

I can definitely be a salt junkie, and it wasn’t until I started really taking a good look at what I put in my mouth everyday did I realize just how high in sodium some foods are, or how much salt I was using on my food.  Once I started removing the salt from my diet, my eating became pretty bland.  Sometimes it’s downright boring.  So I am always on the lookout for ways to maximize flavour.

On Sundays I try and plan out what I’m going to eat for the week, and I came across this recipe for Lemon Garlic Tilapia on Skinnytaste.com that I’m going to try for dinner this week.  If you’re looking for healthy dishes to prepare, head over and check out Skinnytaste.com, I LOVE this blog, Gina posts some AMAZING recipes, and I can’t wait to try her tilapia.

I’ll let you guys know how I fare with the tilapia.  I hope everyone has a great week, and don’t forget to take the S’alternative Pledge!  If you do, let me know how it goes and how you used lemons this week!