Tossing the Salad

I hate salad. I think I may have mentioned that before in previous posts, but I think it’s worth noting again. I hate salad. I know it’s good for me, I know it’s a great way to get in my six to eight servings of vegetables a day (or however many I’m supposed to be eating), but seriously, salad is just lame. LAME! The boring lettuce, other soggy vegetables…and the only way to make it taste even remotely appetizing is to drench it in a heart attack-inducing dressing sprinkled with half a pound of refined-carb garlic croutons.

So after a while salad and I parted company. It was for everyone’s own good, we just weren’t meant to be. His friends dressing and croutons were bringing me down and my weight up. I never forgot about salad though, and one day made the brave decision to try things again. We could work this out; we just needed to add some spice to our relationship! So that’s exactly what I did.

I found this fantastic recipe for Turkey Lettuce Tacos on the blog—fabulous recipes, I highly recommend you check it out; especially if you are on Weight Watchers because all the point values are broken down for each recipe. Anyway, back to the tacos. I made the seasoned ground turkey from the recipe and instead of making tacos, I added it to my salad. Mixed greens, some chopped tomato and peppers, a little shredded cheddar and BAM! I had the makings of a delicious salad. Colour me shocked! The best part? The sauce from the seasoned turkey acts as a delicious dressing. Take that fat-laden salad dressings! Your services are not required here.  The even better part?  One serving of the turkey taco mix (slightly more than half a cup) has 134 calories, 2 g of fat, and 21 g of protein.  Can you say yay?  Oh wait I don’t think that was loud enough…YAY!!!

I know at the begging of this blog I said that I hated salad; that may have been a little harsh. Salad and I have now reconciled—gone are the dreary days of unsatisfying lunches and in their place remains a long-lasting love affair with passion and spice.

Next week I’ll tell you about my steamy affair with quinoa pasta 😉

Feelin’ the Love

I am a very lucky girl.

If I was feeling down about my weight loss progress, the love and support of my friends, family, and blog readers has certainly helped to turn things around.  Thank you to everyone who commented here and on Facebook – your support means a lot.

I saw this Weight Watchers commercial and I want to share it because I really love it.  Not because it’s promoting WW, but because I think it sums up exactly the mindset I should be in.

I had an opportunity to spend some time with my friend Ivy this weekend.  She lives out-of-town, so we don’t get to see each other very often.  Ivy has been going through her own road to healthy and is looking great.  I’m so proud of her for the hard work she had put in—walking, biking, boot camp workouts—she is so inspiring.  We talked about how I was feeling about my weight loss and the difficulties I have been having.  We both agreed that I’m not ready to give up, but that I definitely need to stop being so hard on myself (so not easy for me).

Having a community of people around me that understand what I’m going through—helping to celebrate the ups and helping to soothe me during the downs—is an amazing feeling.  It makes me feel like I can accomplish anything and that I’m really not alone in all this.

So, thank you friends—you have inspired me more than you know. 🙂

How Am I Ever Going To Do This?

I have to be honest, friends.  I am not doing well.

After three weeks of no weigh-ins and eating pretty much whatever, I hit the scale this morning and learned the nasty reality of what I had done to myself.  I gained three pounds.

What the hell am I doing??

I promised myself before I got on the scale that I wasn’t going to beat myself up if I gained.  I just need to face the music and then do some damage control.  I got off the scale and was fine—for about 30 seconds.  After that it was a full on, pick on Victoria fest:

“Why can’t I do this?  When am I going to get my shit together?  Why is losing weight so freaking hard?  I might as well just stay fat because I am NEVER going to be able to do this.  I fail EVERY time.”

Those are just a few of the thoughts I had running through my brain this morning on the way to work.  Not pretty.  Not one bit.

Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m a pretty smart girl.  I don’t think I would have gotten this far in life by being a moron, but honestly, what do I have to do to make my brain understand that losing weight is important for me and my health?  I always go in with the best intentions—“this time it’s going to be different, I’m really going to do it”—and then 15 minutes later I’ve got my head stuck in a bag of potato chips.  Seriously?!

On Wednesday I told my friend Kevin that sometimes it just feels like I’m destined to be overweight forever, and maybe I should just stop fighting it and just learn to live with it.  A total cop out, yes, but that’s honestly what I’ve been thinking.

Kevin told me that if I had truly wanted to give up I already would have.  In truth, he’s right (I hate it when he’s right-which he is most of the time).  Every time I pick myself up and start again it’s a declaration that I’m not ready to give up.

Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

And I’m up.

Ready, Set, Go!

Today is Sunday, September 1, 2013.  It is 6:25am and I am heading out for a 6km walk.

There is no more fucking around.18

Since I started this blog in March, I’ve seen some progress, but mostly I feel like I’ve been half-assing it.  I’ve been miserable, and unable to really find my footing when it comes to losing weight.  I have issues surrounding food that I either haven’t or haven’t wanted to deal with, I’ve been setting goals and abandoning them halfway through, and I have been ignoring some issues in my life that I have long needed to deal with.

I know some people who read this will probably tell me to cut myself a little slack, that at least I’ve been doing something.  And while that is true, it’s definitely time I did more.  So ladies and gentlemen, welcome to more.

My only goal for this month is to hit my 5% Weight Watchers goal.  That is my sole focus.  I think focusing on one thing at a time will help.

In addition to weight loss I have some other exciting things starting in September.  First I’m going to blog school!  I am taking a six month course on the ins and outs of blogging.  I love blogging but there is still so much I have to learn.  This should help fill in the gaps and help make my blog everything I want it to be.

I’ve also started writing again (other writing aside from the blog).  I spent some time on Friday with my amazing friend and fellow writer Randy ( discussing writing and some ideas I have for projects.  I’m now starting to outline my first novel.  Who knows where it will go, but I’m excited to put pen to paper and get started.  Yay!!

Thanks for listening my friends…I always feel better when we talk. 🙂

Family Matters

Happy Monday my friends – I am writing to you in my pj’s this morning as I have the day off from work today.  Is there anything lovelier that waking up on a Monday morning without your alarm screaming at you, knowing that the only commute you have to make is flipping from one side of the bed to the other, settle in, and drift back into a peaceful sleep?Hello My Name is Victoria

I spent this past weekend in Windsor, Ontario for a fun-time family reunion, so of course I had to take Monday off so I could recuperate. 😛  My brother and I drove down with my mom and dad to visit with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins and more cousins!  It was a great time, which included lots of food (of course – with my family, that’s how we roll).

I wish I could say I totally behaved myself this weekend.  I was doing just fine, counting my points, really thinking about what I was putting in my mouth, but somewhere around Saturday night I started to fall off the rails a little bit.  Going away means a lot of eating out and I don’t know why, but somehow leaving the immediate vicinity of my home send off bells in my brain that says “YOU ARE AWAY FROM HOME…YOU NEED COMFORT…EAT EVERYTHING!

I decided when I got home last night that I would do a little “reset” today.  I got to bed early last night and got enough sleep, woke up today and had some water, ate a good breakfast, and took my vitamins.  So now I’ve set myself up for a good day, and even a good week.  Weather pending, I will get out and go for a walk today.

I didn’t write my normal Wednesday blog last week, but I did go to my weigh-in and my weight stayed the same.  I wasn’t completely happy with that, but I wasn’t really unhappy either.  There are going to be weeks that don’t go my way, it just means I going to have to step things up and try harder the next week. And the week after that, and the week after that…

A little side note:
Last week my Uncle Al passed away.  He was my grandmother’s brother and I remember him as being just the sweetest, warmest, funniest man.  We didn’t see each other often, but when we did he always took the time to check in with me.  When I started my first full-time job working for a bank, he used to ask me how things were going and give me advice on being a good employee, and how to work my way up.  I never forgot that.  I have come a long way in my career since then and I think I owe a little bit of that to Uncle Al.  Rest in peace, Sir, you will be missed.

Life’s Little Slip Ups

I am the Queen Bee of slip ups.

(I really wanted to say F&$k ups there, but my parents read my blog so I need to reign in my potty mouth…HI MOM AND DAD!!)

So first the bad news:  I had a pretty stressful work week so I didn’t always make the best choices food wise (I may have had a box of Milk Duds for lunch today).

The good news:  I’m back to walking – I’ve gotten two 5 km walks in this week so far.

The better news:  I lost 0.5 lb this week [insert roaring applause here].

Ok, so half a pound may not be applause worthy, but given the many slips up I had this week, the fact that I managed to pull off a loss in nothing less than, well, astounding.  At my Weight Watchers meeting tonight we talked about slip ups.  Like I mentioned, I’m the queen of slip ups.  It’s so easy for me to waver and get off track from things like:

  • Stress at work (“Victoria, we need that 150 page report formatted and edited in the next 15 minutes.  Lunch?  You must be kidding!”)
  • Influence from friends or family (“Oh come on, one piece won’t kill you!”)
  • Emotional highs (“Yay I finished that report in 15 minutes!  I deserve cake!”)
  • Emotional lows (“What do you mean I look like I’ve gained weight?”)

But what I learned today is that it’s not about WHAT YOU DO, it’s about WHAT YOU DO AFTER.  It’s so easy for those slip ups to become slippery slopes into continuously not eating well.  I never really thought about it like that before.  I’m always so focused on the slip up, I don’t really put any focus on the recovery.  I get it into my head that since I screwed up, it’s ok to continue to screw up.  So now instead of focusing on what I did wrong I’m going to focus on what I can do right:

  • Stop berating myself for my slip up—acknowledge it happened and move on.
  • Don’t wait to get back on track—focus on getting it right at the very next meal.
  • Realize that slip ups are always going to happen, there’s no getting around them.

So here’s to getting it right, as best I can.  Instead of being the queen of slip ups, I’ll be the queen of recovery…because let’s face it, it’s good to be queen 😛

A Little Update

Hello friends!  I know I haven’t been posting the last couple of weeks so I thought I’d do a quick update of where things are with me.

I’ve had an injury the last couple of weeks that’s prevented me from doing very much.  So I’ve been resting and now am finally getting back into the swing of things.  This morning I went for my first walk in two weeks and it felt really good to get out.  My brother and I did 5 km down to the lake and back.  We got up nice an early and headed out around 6:30am.  It was beautiful out, a cool breeze and nice and quiet.  I’m really learning to love morning walks.

The downside is that I kind of feel like I’m starting from scratch becasue I took so much time off.  I’m going to start pushing myself a little harder each day to get back up to speed.  The goal is to have me walking 10 km at a time, which is the distance from my apartment to the pier in Hamilton.  I’d like to hit that goal by September 1.

My other goal to hit is my 5% Weight Watchers goal.  That is a 16.5 lb weight loss, which means I need to lose 13 more pounds over the month of August (5 weeks).  I am up for the challenge and definitely thing I can acheive both goals this month.  At my last weigh in I actually gained 1.8 lb—which I think stems from not being able to work out—but I’m not discouraged and will just try and keep focused for my next weigh in on July 31st.

The other thing I have been focusing on is my Life Reboot program.  I have been learning a lot about myself over the last couple of weeks and really making some great headway.  I’ve figured out some of the patterns that limit me (for example when I’m uncomfortable about something I tend to shut down and not want to talk about it) and now I’m leaning how to change those patterns.  It’s been great doing this program and it’s really helping me look at my life differently.

So there you have it!  An update from little old me.  I promise not to be so stingy with the updates going forward.  😉

I hope everyone has a great week!!

And Now We’re Really Back…

Wednesday is my weigh-in day for Weight Watchers.  I go to weigh in and attend my meeting for that oh-so-needed support.  I wasn’t sure how I

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/

was going to fare this week given my struggles with eating all the points I’m suppose to eat.  But guess what my friends??

I lost 4.8 pounds.  BOOYA.

This is a HUGE victory for me, and has definitely set me back on the right track.  I also had a very productive discussion with my WW leader who helped me deal with a few issues—the major one being my issue with eating enough.  I explained to her my struggles to eat all of the points I’m allotted in a day and how much stress it was causing me.  She told me that happens to a lot of people in the beginning, and that I should try to get as close as I can but to listen to my body.  If I feel satisfied with what I’ve eaten for the day then that’s ok.

So I’m going to let go of the stress about eating, listen to my body’s cues, and work towards another victory for next Wednesday. 🙂

Getting Up to Speed

Hi everyone!  Miss me??  Yeah, I miss you guys too. 🙂

I haven’t really blogged at all this week.  I’ve been trying to get into a rhythm with Weight Watchers and to get some exercise in there as well.

I thought that by joining Weight Watchers I’d be able to coast in and hit the ground running.  But not so my friends!  One of the major issues I have had since the beginning has reared it’s ugly head…the amount of food I have to eat!

For those of you unfamiliar with how Weight Watchers works, the fat, fibre, carb, and protein values of foods are converted into points.  A person is allotted so many points to eat per day based on their weight, height, etc.  In addition to those points, you also get an additional 49 points to use throughout the week.  My daily points total is 49, plus my weekly additional 49 points…that’s a lot of food, yo!  It should be noted that fruits and vegetables are zero points so even consuming those in mass quantities doesn’t help me get in all my points.  Although the amount of points I have to eat will decrease as I lose weight, for now I have to figure out how to choke down all 49.  I know, I know…I could have worse problems right?

The great thing that happened this week was the exercise portion.  My brother is pushed me out on three walks this week.  Monday we did 4 km, Friday we did 4 km, and this morning we did 6 km.  Monday was hard, Friday was a little easier, and this morning was hard but I pushed hard to finish.  On top of which, I had a great sense of accomplishment when I was done.  After which I enjoyed a nice cool shower and a yummy breakfast.

So all in all, a pretty great week.  We’ll see if the scale agrees with me on Wednesday evening. 🙂

Just One Thing Project – The Plan

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been going through a hard time with my eating plan and with the weight loss clinicBox1 I’ve been going to.  At first, going to the clinic was great and I felt like I was making some headway.  However, I’m now eight months in and with only 9 lb lost I feel like I’m just going through the motions.

I have an appointment at the clinic every four weeks.  I have my weight checked, my blood pressure taken, and I meet with the doctor and nutritionist.  This all lasts no more than 10 minutes.  My actual time with the doctor is even less than that.  When I first started the clinic, the information I received said that there would be small group sessions at each appointment for discussion and peer support.  Again, these sessions only last about 10 minutes (when they even happen) and consist of a room of 5-6 people and a clinic educator reading from a Microsoft PowerPoint presentation.

I feel…unsupported going to the clinic.  I feel like I just go in, they get the vitals on me and I’m ushered off not to be seen again for another four weeks.  I even went to the clinics held by the staff nutritionist, and yet I still feel like something is missing.  And to top it all off, I am miserable, and have been for the last little while.  Now I understand that I’m only going to get out of this what I put into it, but clearly, this isn’t working.

I came home from work on Thursday looking and feeling like someone had just run over my dog.  I felt sad and miserable, not really knowing what I was going to do.  Do I keep going to the clinic and hope that I get some kind of spark to keep moving forward, or do I try something else?

The high point of Thursday though came when I had a conversation with my brother.  My brother is always the calming voice of reason in the sea of chaos that is my mind.  He is the yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly, the macaroni to my cheese (gee Victoria, obsess much).  My brother and I are pretty opposite, and yet he’s one of my best friends.  He’s the calm and rational sibling with a wicked sense of humour and I’m the wild and unstable sibling with a wicked sense of humour – it’s the funny that bonds us.   But I also  know that he will take seriously anything I confide in him and that there is never any judgement.

We talked about my struggles over the last little while and what I was going to do about getting back on track.  I mentioned to him about quitting the clinic and trying something else, namely Weight Watchers.  I’ve done Weight Watchers before (well if we’re being honest four times before), but at this point I’m willing to give it another try.  One of my biggest issues, as I explained to my brother, is that quitting the clinic makes me feel like a failure.  Just one more failed attempt at losing weight.

In true brother-style he said the exact right thing at the exact right time (he’s really good at that by the way).  In the past few years he has lost a significant amount of weight, so he knows what he’s talking about.  He told me if I’m not getting anything out of going to the clinic, then I should quit and find something else.  Quitting doesn’t make me a failure; it’s recognizing that this program just isn’t working for me.  So I try something else and see if that works.  He told me it’s going to get worse before it gets better, but that I can’t stop trying because he knows that I can do this.  He even offered to go on walks with me after work and on the weekend to help motivate and push me.

Best brother ever.

So, my just one thing this week is to change the plan I’m on.  Yesterday I quit the clinic and this morning I signed up with Weight Watchers.  The good part? I weighed in, went to my first meeting, and suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of….everything is going to be ok.  The bad part?  I gained 5 lb in the last four weeks.  But I’m not going to get upset and dwell on that…we’re just going to keep moving forward. 🙂