Just One Thing Project – The Plan

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been going through a hard time with my eating plan and with the weight loss clinicBox1 I’ve been going to.  At first, going to the clinic was great and I felt like I was making some headway.  However, I’m now eight months in and with only 9 lb lost I feel like I’m just going through the motions.

I have an appointment at the clinic every four weeks.  I have my weight checked, my blood pressure taken, and I meet with the doctor and nutritionist.  This all lasts no more than 10 minutes.  My actual time with the doctor is even less than that.  When I first started the clinic, the information I received said that there would be small group sessions at each appointment for discussion and peer support.  Again, these sessions only last about 10 minutes (when they even happen) and consist of a room of 5-6 people and a clinic educator reading from a Microsoft PowerPoint presentation.

I feel…unsupported going to the clinic.  I feel like I just go in, they get the vitals on me and I’m ushered off not to be seen again for another four weeks.  I even went to the clinics held by the staff nutritionist, and yet I still feel like something is missing.  And to top it all off, I am miserable, and have been for the last little while.  Now I understand that I’m only going to get out of this what I put into it, but clearly, this isn’t working.

I came home from work on Thursday looking and feeling like someone had just run over my dog.  I felt sad and miserable, not really knowing what I was going to do.  Do I keep going to the clinic and hope that I get some kind of spark to keep moving forward, or do I try something else?

The high point of Thursday though came when I had a conversation with my brother.  My brother is always the calming voice of reason in the sea of chaos that is my mind.  He is the yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly, the macaroni to my cheese (gee Victoria, obsess much).  My brother and I are pretty opposite, and yet he’s one of my best friends.  He’s the calm and rational sibling with a wicked sense of humour and I’m the wild and unstable sibling with a wicked sense of humour – it’s the funny that bonds us.   But I also  know that he will take seriously anything I confide in him and that there is never any judgement.

We talked about my struggles over the last little while and what I was going to do about getting back on track.  I mentioned to him about quitting the clinic and trying something else, namely Weight Watchers.  I’ve done Weight Watchers before (well if we’re being honest four times before), but at this point I’m willing to give it another try.  One of my biggest issues, as I explained to my brother, is that quitting the clinic makes me feel like a failure.  Just one more failed attempt at losing weight.

In true brother-style he said the exact right thing at the exact right time (he’s really good at that by the way).  In the past few years he has lost a significant amount of weight, so he knows what he’s talking about.  He told me if I’m not getting anything out of going to the clinic, then I should quit and find something else.  Quitting doesn’t make me a failure; it’s recognizing that this program just isn’t working for me.  So I try something else and see if that works.  He told me it’s going to get worse before it gets better, but that I can’t stop trying because he knows that I can do this.  He even offered to go on walks with me after work and on the weekend to help motivate and push me.

Best brother ever.

So, my just one thing this week is to change the plan I’m on.  Yesterday I quit the clinic and this morning I signed up with Weight Watchers.  The good part? I weighed in, went to my first meeting, and suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of….everything is going to be ok.  The bad part?  I gained 5 lb in the last four weeks.  But I’m not going to get upset and dwell on that…we’re just going to keep moving forward. 🙂

Just One Thing

This isn’t working.

Despite my best efforts to eat well and move more, I’m not making any headway.

Are they my best efforts though? I thought they were, but it seems so easy to slip back into my old habits. Am I trying hard enough, or is it really impossible to change the habits I’ve cultivated over 38 years?

Or am I just too hard on myself?

I know my friends and family would whole-heartedly agree that I am too hard on myself. I get waaaaaay too serious and forget to enjoy the process (like it’s even possible to enjoy the process of depriving yourself of the very things you love 😛 ).

A little while ago I read a success story about a gentleman in Saskatchewan who lost 80 lb over a year. He started with walking, eventually working up to running. He started by walking just one mile on a treadmill. Just one. He changed just one thing.

I thought a lot about this over the last week.

When I get excited about something, I want to dive in head first. Change everything, shake it all up, and push ahead…no pain, no gain…shit or get off the pot…you get the idea. Inevitably though I get overwhelmed and stop whatever it is I’m doing. It’s the same thing every time, and I am so ready for it to stop. So I had an idea…

What if I just do one thing? Once a week, change one thing or try one new thing that’s going to push me forward to my goals. If I like it and it works, I keep going with it. If it doesn’t work, I try something else (or I may even decide I need more time with my “new thing”). I’m calling it my Just One Thing Project. On Friday’s I’ll post what my “just one thing” was for that week, and what the results were–good, bad, or ugly (oh please don’t there be any ugly).

Now this doesn’t mean that I’m going to abandon everything I’m doing and start from scratch, I’m just going to move forward…bigger and better…onwards and upwards…no pain, no…ok I’m sensing a pattern here…it’s ok, I’m calm…

And here we go…

PS – I’m learning about blog design, hence the new blog design. Don’t be surprised if the design changes 12 times in the next 12 months…I’m funny that way 😀