Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been going through a hard time with my eating plan and with the weight loss clinic I’ve been going to. At first, going to the clinic was great and I felt like I was making some headway. However, I’m now eight months in and with only 9 lb lost I feel like I’m just going through the motions.
I have an appointment at the clinic every four weeks. I have my weight checked, my blood pressure taken, and I meet with the doctor and nutritionist. This all lasts no more than 10 minutes. My actual time with the doctor is even less than that. When I first started the clinic, the information I received said that there would be small group sessions at each appointment for discussion and peer support. Again, these sessions only last about 10 minutes (when they even happen) and consist of a room of 5-6 people and a clinic educator reading from a Microsoft PowerPoint presentation.
I feel…unsupported going to the clinic. I feel like I just go in, they get the vitals on me and I’m ushered off not to be seen again for another four weeks. I even went to the clinics held by the staff nutritionist, and yet I still feel like something is missing. And to top it all off, I am miserable, and have been for the last little while. Now I understand that I’m only going to get out of this what I put into it, but clearly, this isn’t working.
I came home from work on Thursday looking and feeling like someone had just run over my dog. I felt sad and miserable, not really knowing what I was going to do. Do I keep going to the clinic and hope that I get some kind of spark to keep moving forward, or do I try something else?
The high point of Thursday though came when I had a conversation with my brother. My brother is always the calming voice of reason in the sea of chaos that is my mind. He is the yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly, the macaroni to my cheese (gee Victoria, obsess much). My brother and I are pretty opposite, and yet he’s one of my best friends. He’s the calm and rational sibling with a wicked sense of humour and I’m the wild and unstable sibling with a wicked sense of humour – it’s the funny that bonds us. But I also know that he will take seriously anything I confide in him and that there is never any judgement.
We talked about my struggles over the last little while and what I was going to do about getting back on track. I mentioned to him about quitting the clinic and trying something else, namely Weight Watchers. I’ve done Weight Watchers before (well if we’re being honest four times before), but at this point I’m willing to give it another try. One of my biggest issues, as I explained to my brother, is that quitting the clinic makes me feel like a failure. Just one more failed attempt at losing weight.
In true brother-style he said the exact right thing at the exact right time (he’s really good at that by the way). In the past few years he has lost a significant amount of weight, so he knows what he’s talking about. He told me if I’m not getting anything out of going to the clinic, then I should quit and find something else. Quitting doesn’t make me a failure; it’s recognizing that this program just isn’t working for me. So I try something else and see if that works. He told me it’s going to get worse before it gets better, but that I can’t stop trying because he knows that I can do this. He even offered to go on walks with me after work and on the weekend to help motivate and push me.
Best brother ever.
So, my just one thing this week is to change the plan I’m on. Yesterday I quit the clinic and this morning I signed up with Weight Watchers. The good part? I weighed in, went to my first meeting, and suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of….everything is going to be ok. The bad part? I gained 5 lb in the last four weeks. But I’m not going to get upset and dwell on that…we’re just going to keep moving forward. 🙂