I haven’t really written a life update recently. I notice my blogs seem to be almost more formal sometimes. I think I need to get back to the blogs where I just ramble…they are much more fun to write (and I’m sure to read!)
There has been a lot going on the last couple of weeks. The two most significant things revolve around my job and my confidence in myself. So, let’s dive in, shall we?
Let’s start with the meaty stuff – my confidence! Over the last few weeks I’ve really been thinking a lot about how I feel about myself—what I look like, my personality, what I believe, and how other people see me. There were a couple of occasions over the last few weeks where I was put into the awkward position of having to face some not-so-nice comments hurled in my direction in regards to my weight. I’m not going to go into specifics, other than to say that my feelings were hurt, as they easily are. I’m a pretty sensitive person, but that doesn’t justify having to endure hurtful comments.
As I said, this happened a couple of times over the last few weeks. The first time I was just hurt and sad. It’s hard when the people you think are on your side show their true colours. Remember when I wrote about the guy on the street who mooed at me? That was nothing compared to this. The second time hurt even more, but it led to me having an a-ha moment about myself. It’s a moment I wished I’d had so long ago, but one that I’m glad finally penetrated my thick skull.
It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me. It only matters what I think of me.
The truth is I am a beautiful girl. I’m smart, I’m caring, I’m funny, and I’m good friend. I’m also overweight, but that isn’t a character flaw. It’s just a fact. And I’m tired of some people acting like if I’m not thin I couldn’t possibly amount to anything. The unfortunate part is that for the longest time I bought into it. That because I’m fat, I’m somehow less than everyone else. I’m just sorry it took me most of my adult life for that to sink in – despite friends trying to convince me otherwise. I guess sometimes you just have to come to these realizations on your own and in your own time.
The other significant, although less meaty item is that I am officially a telecommuter! I am now working from home five days a week. Same job, just no commute (unless you count the stumble from the bedroom to my desk each morning). I have to say, I was somewhat apprehensive about working from home on a permanent, full-time basis, and I guess maybe I kind of still am. I definitely need to get myself into some kind of routine. When I first found out I was going to be working from home full-time, all I could think about were the negative aspects—by myself, all day, lonely, putting in longer hours because I wouldn’t have to commute—but upon further reflection I think I have a really amazing opportunity here. This could be the opportunity to really get a leg up on taking care of me and putting myself first. I can definitely make time for exercise everyday. I can make myself healthy meals and not worry about eating out in food courts at lunch or having to drag a lunch with me to work. The possibilities are endless. This is going to be a great!!
One last little update for you—my back and left leg are finally starting to feel better. After a few weeks of physiotherapy and some very painful acupuncture treatments, things are finally starting to look up. Walking long distances can still be difficult, and I do have to deal with daily leg pain from my sciatic nerve, but I’m optimistic that with further physiotherapy soon I’ll be as good as new!
Ciao for now friends!