This is a bit of a departure from my usual blogs, but bare with me, sometimes I don’t chose what to write, it chooses me.
Throughout our lives, with billions of people on the planet, we somehow manage to bump into a handful of individuals that we connect with. Sometimes we bond over little things, “You like listening to Justin Timberlake? I love listening to Justin Timberlake!” Sometimes we connect over life circumstances like kids, or ailing parents, or even being single. Every once in a while though, you manage to meet that one person you swear just gets you. They understand you better than anyone, they know what’s in your head and in your heart before it even comes out of your mouth. You just click.
If we’re lucky we meet a few of these people in our lifetime, and if we’re even luckier they stick around for a long time. Things happen though; life happens. People change, they grow up, they live their lives. Things can’t always stay the same; we live and we evolve.
I recently had a friend depart from my life. It wasn’t messy, there was no anger or resentment, no bitterness or drama. It was just one of those “this is the way it has to be” type of situations but, despite the amicability of it all, it still hurts. A lot. I’ve been miserable, tears have been shed (and shed and shed) and all I keep wondering is, when will the pain stop?
Having someone leave your life is never easy, but it’s even more difficult when you’re not prepared for it. But when are you ever prepared? If I spent my time trying to prepare for the days when loved ones leave, I’d spend all my time preparing. The funny thing is, it still wouldn’t be enough time. That thought led me to this: if I spend all my time worrying about someone leaving, I’m missing on out on the time we have together; scared to lose that connection from my life. Scared of my life changing.
So now I’m here. Less upset, but still sad. Moving forward, but still a little stuck in the past. But maybe that’s ok. I can take comfort in knowing that my friend is happy, even if it means we are apart.
There is a quote from the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert that reminds me that not every parting needs to cause me so much distress:
“But I miss him.”
“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it”.
This is how I will try to mend my broken heart. I hope my friend finds what they are looking for, I wish them love in everything they do, and I will miss them every single day.