So yesterday I read the funniest post by Jackie over at her blog My Papaya Jambalaya about her 25 reasons why she’s not hip and probably never will be.  The sheer fact that I laughed out loud at her list is reason enough to consider her hip!  I love her blog, she is hilarious.  I totally related to her list, as I am truly as unhip as they come, but I’m totally ok with that!

So I’m going to carry on Jackie’s torch of unhip and present you with my 25 reasons I’m unhip and probably never will be.  If you get a minute, please check out Jackie’s post, because I totally stole this idea from her.

1.  I steal ideas from other bloggers (with permission of course 😉 ) when I have nothing interesting to write about on my own blog.

2.  I buy my socks and underwear from Walmart, or Target, or any place that’s cheap.

3.  When I wake up in the morning, I typically look like a tornado has blown through my room during the night.  Restless leg syndrome?  Try restless Victoria syndrome.  I feel sorry for any future husband who will have to sleep in the same bed with me.

4.  I talk to myself.  I also talk to the computer, to the television, or any inanimate object that can’t answer back.  I basically talk to things that won’t argue with me.

5.  I can dress myself, usually in clean clothes, but I’m not what you would call a fashionista.  I’m more a fashiondon’ta.  I used to love watching What Not to Wear, but I didn’t learn a thing.

6.  When I’m home alone I sing.  A lot.  Loudly.  I’m sure my neighbours hate it, but since no one has said anything to me yet, I will continue with my singing.

7.  I think sushi is gross.

8.  I’m 38 years old and I still use the word gross.

9.  I swear a lot.  It’s really un-lady like, I know, but I don’t give a fuck.

10.  I don’t own a car.  I can drive, I just don’t.  I’m all about public transportation my friends.

11.  I go to bed at 10pm.  Sometimes 9:30pm if I’ve had a particularly long day.

12.  I’ve never watched Breaking Bad, and I don’t really intend to.

13.  I dance in the grocery store.  What can I say?  Sometimes they drop a good beat and I feel the need to bust a move in the frozen foods aisle.

14.  I am quite possibly the most indecisive person ever.  I spent an hour and half in IKEA last week trying to pick a quilt cover set.  I left empty handed.  Not the first time this has happened, by the way.

15.  I hate and am annoyed by text speak.  If U R going to txt me, pls do it in full sentences.

16.  I don’t pick up on subtlety very well.  Flirting is totally lost on me.

17.  I think John Hughes was a movie genius.

18.  I am ridiculous for starting projects and not finishing them.  I have the shortest attention span ever.  I’m also interested in too many things.

19.  I have the worst short-term memory.  I will actually forget things I’ve just done 30 seconds after I’ve done them.  Which leads me to doing a lot of things over again.

20.  I have the worst short-term memory.  I will actually forget things I’ve just done 30 seconds after I’ve done them.  Which leads me to doing a lot of things over again.

21. I have never read any of the Harry Potter books and I’ve never seen any of the Harry Potter movies.

22. I am often too lazy to do my hair, so I just put it in a bun or a ponytail.

23. I wear the same earrings every day, the are small silver hoops that I’ve had in my ears for at least the last 10 to 12 years if not longer.  Sometimes I’ll change them if I’m going to a special event, but then I suddenly feel like I’m trying too hard and I can’t wait to get back to my little silver hoops.  Those earrings and a watch are really the only jewellery I ever wear.

24. I like drinking the juice out of pickle jars.

25. I am a complete klutz.  I fall down, trip, stub my toe, or injure myself at least every couple of days.


3 thoughts on “Unhipster

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