Finding My Way Back

“Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years” ~L.L. Cool J.

Image courtesy of pakorn /

Image courtesy of pakorn /

I know, I know…I’ve been gone a long time.  I know, I know…you’ve been worried, wondering where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to.  Well, first things first–I missed you too.

I hadn’t intended to be gone for so long, but you know two days turned into a week, and then one week turned into two, and before I knew it I hadn’t written anything in eight weeks.  For the first little while I felt bad about it, like I was letting people down by not writing.  I even had a few people reach out to me and ask why I hadn’t been writing anything.  I could have made up a few excuses like I was busy (I wasn’t too busy to be blogging) or I had an injury (I did—I hurt my back—but I still could have written).

The truth is actually pretty simple.  I’m embarrassed.

I look back over the last year and I feel like I accomplished nothing.  My weight hasn’t really changed since I started trying to get healthier and I feel no further along.  It’s disappointing to me because when I started I really felt like I was headed for some big changes in my life.  I started this blog to keep me accountable, but in the process I let myself down and I now feel like I’ve let you all down as well.

“I have failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” ~Michael Jordan

Just like the many times before though, I’m going to pick myself up and try again.  As many times as it takes until I get it right.  I have people behind me who want me to succeed, friends who want to help me and help make my dreams a reality.  My friend Annie and I recently reminisced about a 2.3 km hike we went on this past summer.  She reminded me that even though I was nervous about completing the hike, I did it.  Even when the terrain was way out of my comfort zone, and even though I tripped towards the end and twisted my ankle, I still kept going and finished.

So if you’re out there and feeling like a failure, like you couldn’t possible get your act together and get yourself healthy, I’m here to tell you that you can.  I’m not going to give up, and neither are you.  We’re going to do it together.  The past is the past.  All we can do is put one foot in front of the other.  Is it going to be difficult?  I can pretty much guarantee it.  Are there going to be days we want to give up?  Absolutely.  But we’re going to lean on each other and we’re going to learn from each other.

My name is Victoria, I still weigh 331 lb, and 2014 just might be my year.  I hope it’s your year too.

Happy New Year 🙂


6 thoughts on “Finding My Way Back

  1. You haven’t failed anyone, beautiful, least of all you. This is your journey…it is about the walk, not the destination.

    You have made amazing, loving friends who walk beside you hand-in-hand, keeping you company and letting you know you are loved. And you have re-engaged with existing friends like never before (like me), who are ready with a hug or encouraging word.

    You do this for you–the blog, the exercise, the eating healthy, the taking time. If we prod every now and again, it is only to know you’re okay and to remind you we are here for you. There is no accountability because there is no account, no ledger with credits and debits.

    2014 and beyond will be years of amazing miracles when you are ready for them. This is not a limited-time offer or available only while supplies last.

    • Victoria says:

      You are an amazing friend sir, thank you for this – maybe a little more salad this year and a little less lasagna, hmm?? 😉

  2. Steph says:

    Happy New Year, Victoria! You always have been and continue to be an inspiration to me. Wishing you all the best for 2014 and beyond. I am rooting for you all the way (and learning to root for myself too)!

    • Victoria says:

      Thanks Steph!! You can and should root for yourself – you’re incredibly talented and I know you can do anything you set your mind to (I’ve seen it first hand!)

  3. Well hello there, Kindred Spirit! It sucks to realize that you’ve been spinning your wheels for an entire year, but hey, guess what happens when you finally get some traction? You shoot out of the gate at breakneck speed! My wish for the new year is that we leave last year in the dust. 🙂

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