From Here to Eternity

So here I am…a new blog.

I started this blog over a month ago, and I haven’t posted anything.  I write, edit, erase…write, edit, erase…fearful that anything I write won’t be good enough for anyone to read.

I had been thinking a lot about starting a new blog.  So many things stopped me, from thinking I have nothing interesting to write about, to the fear of putting myself out there for the world to see.  However, it occurred to me one day that I do have something to talk about, a topic that I am something of an expert in.  Being overweight (insert applause here).  That’s right, I’m an expert.  If universities gave out PhDs in being overweight I surely would have won a Nobel Prize by now.

For those who don’t know me, let me paint the picture for you.

I am 37 years old, born and bred in Burlington, Ontario, Canada, and I have been overweight pretty much my entire life.  Thirty-seven years my friends…that’s a long time.

I’ve been different weights at different stages in my life, every year with a new botched attempt at losing weight.  My weight slowly increased through my teenage years and early adulthood up to this point.  I wasn’t in some horrific accident that left me bed bound for months or years, nor have I given birth to three kids.  I just ate.  A lot.  Oh, and I didn’t exercise.  Ever.

In November of 2012 I was at my highest weight of…oh man, this is the point where I have to say it isn’t it?  I have to state out loud the secret that I have been keeping for a very long time.  OK, deep breath…here we go…

In November 2012, I was at my highest weight of 335 pounds.

(OK, I literally just sat here for five minutes and stared at that number on the computer screen after I wrote it.  I may have momentarily blacked out, I’m not sure.)

In November, I began an experiment to change my life…and failed epically within the first three months.  Though I had managed to lose ten pounds by the end of December 2012, after Christmas things started to fall apart.  After having been off work for two weeks for Christmas vacation, I started slipping back into my old habits.  Skipping meals and eating mass quantities of junk food.  I stopped bringing my lunch and snacks to work, instead opting to eat in one of the many food courts within walking distance to my office (there are five within a one block radius).

So that brings us here, to the middle of March 2013.  As of today, my weight is 324 pounds, 11 pounds down.  Nothing to sneeze at, but I still have a long way to go.

And if I may say so…I just listed my current weight on a blog, on the INTERNET.  How’s that for looking fear in the face and saying F-YOU! (also you just need to look at me to know that I don’t weight 120 pounds, I’m not fooling anyone).

So the question on my mind is this: what makes this attempt at losing weight so different than all my other failed attempts?  The answer is that this time I am unwilling to give up.  During any other time I had attempted to lose weight in the past, I would try hard for a few days, give in to temptation, and rather than shaking it off and moving forward I would just give up all together.  This time, I can feel something different in my attitude towards losing weight (or maybe I’m just hungry).  At any rate, I hope you enjoy my musings on my journey to health and well-being.  Ugh, did I really just use the word journey?  It makes me sound like I’m packing all my belongings in a bandana, tying it to a stick, and walking down a dirt road while sad harmonica music plays in the background.  Maybe I’ll use that as the opening scene in the movie about my life.

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2 thoughts on “From Here to Eternity

  1. Joan Rittenhouse says:

    Congratulations Vicki– I know where you are coming from and am on the same ‘journey’ as you and like you I am not giving up–I am 2 years into it and have lost 67lbs, so it can be done. Mom and Dad’s death threw me off track for a bit but I am back on–good luck with it and I’ll keep on following your blog!!

    Joan

    • Victoria says:

      Thanks Joan…it’s so easy to get thrown off track, even by little things, let alone the big things like your mom and dad passing. If I can do this, I KNOW you can do this! Good luck to you too!

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