So here I am…a new blog.
I started this blog over a month ago, and I haven’t posted anything. I write, edit, erase…write, edit, erase…fearful that anything I write won’t be good enough for anyone to read.
I had been thinking a lot about starting a new blog. So many things stopped me, from thinking I have nothing interesting to write about, to the fear of putting myself out there for the world to see. However, it occurred to me one day that I do have something to talk about, a topic that I am something of an expert in. Being overweight (insert applause here). That’s right, I’m an expert. If universities gave out PhDs in being overweight I surely would have won a Nobel Prize by now.
For those who don’t know me, let me paint the picture for you.
I am 37 years old, born and bred in Burlington, Ontario, Canada, and I have been overweight pretty much my entire life. Thirty-seven years my friends…that’s a long time.
I’ve been different weights at different stages in my life, every year with a new botched attempt at losing weight. My weight slowly increased through my teenage years and early adulthood up to this point. I wasn’t in some horrific accident that left me bed bound for months or years, nor have I given birth to three kids. I just ate. A lot. Oh, and I didn’t exercise. Ever.
In November of 2012 I was at my highest weight of…oh man, this is the point where I have to say it isn’t it? I have to state out loud the secret that I have been keeping for a very long time. OK, deep breath…here we go…
In November 2012, I was at my highest weight of 335 pounds.
(OK, I literally just sat here for five minutes and stared at that number on the computer screen after I wrote it. I may have momentarily blacked out, I’m not sure.)
In November, I began an experiment to change my life…and failed epically within the first three months. Though I had managed to lose ten pounds by the end of December 2012, after Christmas things started to fall apart. After having been off work for two weeks for Christmas vacation, I started slipping back into my old habits. Skipping meals and eating mass quantities of junk food. I stopped bringing my lunch and snacks to work, instead opting to eat in one of the many food courts within walking distance to my office (there are five within a one block radius).
So that brings us here, to the middle of March 2013. As of today, my weight is 324 pounds, 11 pounds down. Nothing to sneeze at, but I still have a long way to go.
And if I may say so…I just listed my current weight on a blog, on the INTERNET. How’s that for looking fear in the face and saying F-YOU! (also you just need to look at me to know that I don’t weight 120 pounds, I’m not fooling anyone).
So the question on my mind is this: what makes this attempt at losing weight so different than all my other failed attempts? The answer is that this time I am unwilling to give up. During any other time I had attempted to lose weight in the past, I would try hard for a few days, give in to temptation, and rather than shaking it off and moving forward I would just give up all together. This time, I can feel something different in my attitude towards losing weight (or maybe I’m just hungry). At any rate, I hope you enjoy my musings on my journey to health and well-being. Ugh, did I really just use the word journey? It makes me sound like I’m packing all my belongings in a bandana, tying it to a stick, and walking down a dirt road while sad harmonica music plays in the background. Maybe I’ll use that as the opening scene in the movie about my life.